HAHA~!

This funny pic makes me remind of ling and hua.

Coz they are always working working as if they are building 1 big sushi :)

我痛的, 他已经习惯了.

Haven been feeling very well today due to the weather.
Now im like the weather forecast, pain together with the weather.
So next time before it rains i shall noe.

After so many things happened den i realise how life is really bitter and brittle.
Its juz a bang and you are gone.
you may be here today and the other you are gone.
*poof*
disappeared in thin air~ gone wif your soul living only ur body..

im so happy that even i have lost abilities that i used to have, but i gained some friends that i have lost long time ago.
Now i have lost someone i loved, however i gained more friends.
i regret why is it that things have to happen before things are solved.
You noe i should juz forget everything and start again.
Now im regretting why the bus din bang me in the head.
Make me lose all my memories.
Make me feel better.
Make me make new friends again.
Make me really have a new life.
but now everything is too late.
i cried so hard yesterday night.

im living in saddness everyday.
i wana run and jump and hop around juz like all normal kids do.
But when can i?
i wana post pics into my blog, i wana be happy.
But can i?

I need no one anymore.

5 more days to my thearpy.
I've been telling myself to forget everything that have been happening in the past.
I shouldnt have still lived in the past.
Out of so many choices and so many exits, i still chose the dead end.
I have totally stopped thinking about it.
Its another new life now.
However i feel so trapped.
Just like the bird in the bird cage.
Without freedom, without air.
Im a bird with wings, however, my wings could flap no more.
Its like stuck in the cage, no longer able to flap anymore.
As wad i told my cousin the day before, i feel as if im a burden, slowling the pace of everyone around me.
everything they have to do, they have to take to a concern for me.
Now i understand. No one can understand the pain im in now.
Its not juz the physical pain im in.
Its the mental and emotional pain im in.
Everyone is asking me why this why that.
but i really dun have the answer.
everyone tells me if i really have problems i have to say them all out so that they could be solved.
but in the true fact, i dun even noe wad are the problems im facing.

im oso in pain in searching for the reasons why am i so trapped.
i cried in pain not coz i have problems that cant be solved.
i cried in pain coz my heart aches however i couldnt find the way out.
crying is the only way that my heart feels right.
coz no one can really understand tat i really dun nid them to be always supervising me.
im a grown up, 18 year old young adult.
i really nid some freedom.
Do you understand?
i would like to stand up on my own since im the one who started everything first.
im tired not coz i have not enuff slp.
Its coz all this ups and downs.
i really had enuff.
it made me feel living another day is really hard.
i need my room of space.
Bring me to outer space, where i could be alone.

She is back again once again not able to slp at night.
After "saying" him for 1 day, tremendous changes can be seen.
- Forgetting the old and look forward to the new.
- Thanking god for wad have happened.
- Sad also pass one day, Happy also pass 1 day, Why not be happy and pass one day.
Why is she so stupid to think that he will still wait.
Why is she so dumb to believe every word he says.
Why is she holding on to something she cant forget.
Why is it everytime she made her decision to forget him,
he will juz popup and distract her once again?
She is juz so totally helpless.
ITS JUZ SO DUMB!
She is dumb and stupid.
Born wif no brains at all.
Too eaten into that piece of relationship.
Wells, its supposingly that god is telling her that it isnt worth it anymore to hold on.
Coz he really din change, and he really cannot tahan the real her.
WHY IS SHE STILL WAITING DUMB ASS!?

Its all raining today.
Many pains have came to her body.
Aches and veins pulling all over.

with some understandings from her friends,
she is trying hard to overcome her problems.
Hoping to step out to the world once again.
She wana work,
she wana do wad she likes.
But its all destroyed.
Coz of THIS.
She tried to blame everything to the others.
But in fact its herself to blame.
All this happened coz she realised everything too late.
told you, she's dumb.

She is in pain.
She is in despair.
She wants to answer as well.
But how?

Everyday he have been asking the same qns over and over again.
"Do you still love me? i miss you alot."
But so?
She doesnt feel his love anymore.
She doesnt think he understands at all.
In actual fact he doesnt at all!

She couldnt slp at night,
she tried to wake up late in the afternoon.
Everything juz dun work anymore.
She doesnt noe how to express herself anymore.
She juz wans someone to understand her for juz abit.

Being unable to walk, she is happy.
being unable to express herself, she is happy.
being lonely alone is her favourite.
Corners are still her favourite places.

There isnt any more L.I.F.E in her dictionary.
Everything is juz deleted on the day itself.
All her lies,
all her desires have to change on that day.

She just wished,
she could be free...
again.

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