Rot. Rotting. Rotten. Rotten-ed.

Mum dragged me to JP along with my bro. Went popular shopped for my go-to-skoo items, bro's pen and went to walk everywhr. Its the first time i felt so close to bro.. Wells, sry that i have neglected you for so many years. I guess, its time for me to sit down and talk to you more. Ur growing up, as a sister, i should be guiding you mre den parents. Jia you bing huang, climb all the way up ! No matter wad, i'll support you all the way.

P.S. Try to understand whr i stand before you judge pls...

我不说不等于我不在呼, 我不问不等于我不想。
到底我们的友情有多深?
对我来说, 你们永远都是鹏心的朋友。
我不会占有你, 因为我存今拥有你。

Whn things doesnt bother anymre, whn things stop communcating, its the end. I'll be thr, i'll keep it going, i'll try my best. I'll stay visible; jus for you. For nw, its time for me to retreat. I cant afford to stay unhappy till everything is alright. I still have a life to go on.

Im nt strong; the ones who are truly strong are those whom have picked me up when i fall.

With Sebas; Arena-ed . With Clique; Coffeebean-ed . With mum; Chat-ed . With Sebas; Mac-ed .

你们在哪里? 你知道鹏心有多想你们吗。。有些东西忘不了就是忘不了, 你明白吗。

Baby,
Rmb hw we started to be a couple.
Rmbed hw you first lunched with me alone.
Hw you send me home everytime whn i dun dare to be alone.
Hw you helped me overcome my fear of traffic lights.
The first time after accident i walked to ur house alone.
Went up to ur house the first time to have dine.
Looked at ur room and says "ur room is neater den my room, which den you replied, i packed it last night cos ur coming".
Went out for the first time and you kept asking me is my legs alright.
Slowly understanding ur lifestyle.
Hw my slippers broke and you piggy back me all the way home.
Ur red drop colour and becomes the same colour as mine.
The stuntness in ur face whn i brought you to 16th storey.
Our first valentines tgt.
No flowers, bt theres still love and joy.
All ur promises.
Ur hugs.
Our pong qiaos.
Whn i worked, you waited for me jus to fetch me home.
Whn you worked, i went to find you and acc you till you fnished work.
We watched sunrise tgt, though its totally destroyed.
We went to band concert and was mistaken as sihui's parents -.-
I got my first purple rose.
Massaged for you.
Helping you lazy zhu to upload pics.
You finding time out of ur packed timetable jus to meet me for a little while.
You bought breakfast for me every morning before i start work.
You waited till the lights went off for me at work.
You let me cry on ur shoulders.
You let me have ur hand as tissue whn i cried.
You let be part of ur life.
You let me take part in the things you have in life.
Showed me stars.
Carried me and turned my round and round till we're both dizzy.
Played on streets like small little kids.
Peeked at me during trainning.
Watched our first kong bu movie.
Hw i got to noe ur aikido frens.
Hw i got to noe ur clique.
Rmbed hw you appeared in my life.
Rmbed hw you changed me.

i love you.

Went cine with Sebas's aikido frens. They are cute people! Went to watch "coming soon". Man, scared the wits out of me. I guess sebas's arms have blue black tmr; i grabbed it everytime i jump =\ Went to take neoprints and we can actually squeeze 17 people inside 1 machine! OMT. Sebas wore my hoodie and zipped it all up. Man! He actually mistook me for jingyi! Tsk tsk. Meanie!

Clique Chalet.

Was fun, fun, FUN! Though time spend was short, you guys taught me so many so many things. The bond btw you guys, will never be broken. Trust and forgiveness are seen. As someone who jus join the clique, i dn feel outcasted. Thank you all so much! Anw, Pls dn eat char chan ting in white sand; the food sucks =\

---

Saying out is hurting, bt at least nw i noe what were you thinking. And at least, i got the chance to explain to you agn. I dnn will have another chance, but no matter what happens, i'll hang on till the very end. Cos as i said, your nt my fren. Your my twin. And this is forever.

Thr's nth to do with coldness. Even if you act as if you dn care, ur heart will always be thr. Cos its you, this IS you; darling. I din explain much. You din tell me ur unhappiness. We got stuck and misunderstandings came to destroy. You think im taking you for granted, i thought you took me for granted. Things i do, might be small. Might nt be visible. Bt i guarantee, it does exist. I still need you.

请不要判我死刑。

You think; I thought; Who confirm?!

I knew it, i knew it all along. Things are happening not as what i was expected. Frens are people who are in your social circle. Sisters/ Buddies are people who will always share. May it be happiness, sorrows. I ALWAYS have regarded my sisters as my twins. I ALWAYS think of them first. It may not seemed to be. It'll never seem to be. Once a mistake is done, theres nth you cn do abt it. I tried. I seriously tried so hard. But it takes 2 hands to clap. I have 1 hand. Wheres yours? Whn i tried, you pushed me away and pointed all the faults. Whn i treated you as spare tires, you abondoned me. Whn i treated you like my precious gold, you wana put me in the black list. Whn i showed hw i need you, you pretend not to see. You thought i got others. NO ONE, and i mean NO ONE can replace the memories i have with you. I was not having excuses. It was not words that i say to protect myself. Things are happening. Your not the only one crying. Your not the only one in pain. Your not the only one pretending nth has happened. Your not the only one who cherished. I was there too. I was there all along. You din see me. Never. All you saw was my flaw; everything that i have done wrong.

Happy bdae Ah Ma (:

Went to have breakfast in the morning wif baby and he sent me all the way to work. Out of these 3 days of work he is always thr. Making sure that im having enough food and stuffs. Work is never ending, man tmr will be worst. Wish me all the best~ Pool session was fun! Was like bullying him like siao (: You should see baby play pool, so mi ren can. Thanks for making my day once again.

Went to family dine after that at old CDANS. Cool cool. Pls kindly add ChingHern, Er Ge and Fabia jie jie into all of the pics~ hahs.

on behalf of ChenXiaoXin. I ChenSebas is here to blog for her for today since she's so busy with her work.=)
in the morning baby came over to my house to drop me breakfast. so sweet la he.! i love him so much! then he went home and i headed to work. how i wish i could take care of him. if very pain go see doctor kaes? working is so tiring. everyday have to rush rush rush and get OT! after work baby waited for me til 11plus when i finished my work and its not totally done luh! still need colleagues to help. and we ate at Charchanting. standard chicken chop. and headed home!

Wells, today is a tiring day. Went to meet sihui to go to NP. Her dad drove us thr. Like so gd la! (: Reached thr and we're like super early. Breakfast-ed at the new canteen, walked to perchase her lappy. Hmms, she "chionged" to the fujitsu session and started to search for the lappy she have targetted. The slim screen laptop. Got a cute girl to intro the laptop specifications to us and she is jus purely reading frm her notes. Cute luhs. After which met sihui's fren there and walked ard while waiting for the orders form to get printed. Wells, bought her lappy and went back to my hse to change to slippers. That shoe of mine caused me 2 big, huge blisters. I guess i wun be wearing shoes till next week. She went to cut her hair and re-dye it. Aunty was like describing hw handsome and PRETTY sebas was =\ She jus cannot forget him. She thinks he's her live model. Headed for sihui's hse to put her lappy down and went to HuaYi sec to get her leaving cert. Went to jp for lunch aka dine at pepper lunch and got forced to eat the ice cream which is like so hell sweet. She is so evil, threatens nt to talk to me if i dn eat it ): My poor taste buds.

Went for briefing at suntec and whao, i realised im a live example of a noob. Im living in Singapore for 19 years and yet i dnn hw to go suntec. Man, i jus hate going some whr far alone. If i got lost, i guess i'll jus sit thr and cry. Everyone is jus so shocked and suprised im like alive and walking. Jus wana thank you all so much for hiring me back to do simple jobs. Met baby after briefing at his wrk place. Im so nt going to see you for 4 days. Man, i'll miss you so much.

Went Sentosa wif Sebas's aikido peeps. Tell you, they are funny and cute ppl. Everyone got like sun burnt. Din managed to have total fun thr due to my own conditions. Wells, they still made me feel at home and made me join them in everything they do (: You all jus made me miss the days whr i have CCA... Do treasure each other kaes!! (: You all jus made me so stress free. It has been a long great while since i went out with a big grp of ppl. Seeing you guys play makes me wana run and jump too. Stay happy and cheerful alrights! I'll try to rmb all ur names slowly!! Thank you for all the fun today! You guys made my day (:

* Gd luck to those who gt sun burnt and have trainning tmr! =\

Went breakfast with baby after he went for a jog. Slacked at my hse and boredom took over. Resulting in silly pics. So cuties; He went to kiss my wall, and that is not the only pic of him kissing the wall. He went to like comb his hair and "shua shuai", he claims that he is PRETTY~ Trying to act buddha with that little ray of light coming into my room and stacking my dolls up his head. Look at wad he done to my stitch, man, digusting! Aw man, he is just so cute (:

感觉上, 你离我好远。

Maybe i was wrong, maybe i think too much, maybe i was really at fault. I wun push the blame. I'll let bygones be bygones. I'll try to be a gd fren. I'll not promise, but i shall try my best, I'll try to understand you more. I hope its not too late; to say another time of 'im sry'. You might be thinking that why is it that pengxin couldnt learn frm her mistakes. I couldnt learn my mistakes if no one points it out to me. Do scold me off next time if i do make a mistake alright? im not perfect; everyone does make mistakes. Maybe as you said, i took you for granted. Jie quoted -- When things are nearer to you, you' tend to mislook things you normally could see. You took them for granted eventually. Sometimes i wonder, what is actually happening around you. What makes you change so quickly. I never thought things would come to become liddis. Now i feel you so far. "So near yet so far." you should noe that feeling better den me. Normally, its used on couples in love. Huiling, i used it on you. You are much more den a fren to me. never ever think that i would leave you alone if you stop contacting me. Dun live in the past, thinking that i will abondon you. I wouldnt. It you cant put this down, you'll live in the past, you'll entirely stop trusting me.
You remembered the times we just met as frens? You're the big ah lian in np. You totally freaked me out by shouting so loud. I really thought 1 punch frm you and i'll fly so so far away. But in fact, you're a gd fren. i known you for 4 years. Plus this 3 years. 7 years.

Year 2003, I came to know you through np. We started to have lots of fun with meiqi. And slowly, 3 of us are hanging so well together.

Year 2004, our first year together as a campcraft team. We bonded even more. Remember those time when we created ur cuties bdae? Getting you to suck the milk bottle and pushing ur whole head into the cake? In camp, we went through everything. I thought i found a gd fren. I dun care ur frm NT or not. I realised, i jus bonded so well wif you.

Year 2005, We had our first ATC, and you din turn up. I totally freaked out. Called you early in the morning and ur mum picked up. She told me ur down wif tummy upset. I got so worried and so sad, i almost skipped going to ATC too. I went ATC without you. Its so saddening. We bonded even more. I remember meeting you up every recess time. I wasnt very gd with my classmates back den, ur the one i look up upon. You make me believe a true fren exist.

Year 2006, Had the most memorable year ever. Had another round of campcraft. This time even more things happened. Remember the days whr im stuck in btw npcc and council. When i was backstabbed, ur always getting rights for me. You are always there wif me when i needed you. When im waiting for focused test, ur always there to acc me all the way to study. I remember how much time im spending at ur house digging into ur bed and laughing madly at ur baby pictures. Times we went to east coast park to celebrate ur bdae. Suprised you wif the cheese cake which you claimed to be nice. Celebrated my bdae at vivo and you bought a cheesecake for my bdae which i ate till i wana puke. Got my first cap frm you. You hugged me when i pushed the position of vice-captain away. You stood by me when everyone else went away cos i was a SI. You acc me early in the morning for breakfast before sending me off to my camp. We talked everything under the sun and moon. Theres nth that can stop us frm talking.

Year 2007, You came back to jwss to continue serving npcc even though you're not a CI. You got bullied but you stayed on cos of me. You abondoned me cos you couldnt help me and you felt so guilty after that. We patched up and you're always there when i cried. A year passed and we all grew up. We got our own bunch of frens, but ur still my bestie.

Year 2008, I realised i could no longer tear infront of anyone else cos i kept myself so deep. You opened me up. You stayed by me. You rushed all the way frm town jus to come to the 15th floor to see if im alright. You hugged me and told me everything is alright. You let me cry on ur shoulders so hard that i wet the whole of qiu dong's jacket. You are always making urself free so that when i need you, eu will appear right infront of me. When i got bullied, you stood up for me. You forgive everything he have done jus for me and actually peace out with him. You let him disturb ur beauty slp so that you can talk sense into him to treat me better. When things happen, you blamed urself why is it that you did not manage to drag me to bugis that time. When i was in critical, you stay everyday with me. Eu told me frm ur heart, "pengxin be strong, dun go without me. I dun wana lose you" You remember my promise to you that i will die before you. And you wouldnt want it to happen. You told god that if he wana take me, you rather him take you instead. You went to pray for me. You was there to confort my parents. You knew i would come back. When i finally woke up and stared at you, my first look isnt at you but at someone else; you din blame me. You continued to come and visit me. You held my hands so tightly, but i couldnt speak. You din dare to speak too, cos if you do, ur tears will drop. And you wouldnt wan me to see ur tears. You kept ur tears to urself so much, i can see ur eyes so swollen. All the words you have said in ur heart, i have heard them all. When i was starting to talk, u are so delighted. When i started to cough so badly due to the dryness of my throat, ur heart sored. The way i was suffering, you rather some of my suffering befall on urself. You see me tearing cos i knew the fact i couldnt walk. You held me hands and told me i would be fine. When i was transfered to the normal ward, you have started working. Despite all ur work, you come all the way jus to visit me and say hi to me before you go to work. Cos it'll make you feel safer. When i had the 8th operation, you came and stayed with me. You knew i was so scared. Cos i cried so hard when i knew im going through another op. When you saw my scars, ur eyes got all red. You massaged till my blue blacks are gone. I got discharged, you finally put ur heart at ease. Eu went followups with me for my threapy. You saw me slowly getting improvement. You saw me cut my hair. I cut it for a motive, and you knew it. You pushed me on wheelchair, ur heart aches when you see ppl staring at me. i started to walk. You're the first person i told that i have stood up. You watch me stand up infront of ur eyes. You came almost everyday jus to acc me, cos ur afraid i was bored at home. When i got back to the old road i was from, you din blame me. We got back together after that. Our frenship is stronger den ever.

Year 2009, When everything starts to get better for me, it went haywire for eu. I stood by you as much as i could. As i said, i might have taken you for granted. Im sry. Theres still alot i can do for you as compared to you doing things for me. i'll cherish, treasure. I'll keep all bad thoughts away. Come back, darling.

Went to jp wif Huishan & celest last monday. Was lazy to upload pics to com, and finally overcomed my laziness and post it here (: Wells, im rotting at home all day long today.

Hope to meet up with you soon my darling.

“A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.”

“If our children can live safely for one more day it would be worth the one more
day that we defend this island.”

If most of the parents will say this, why cant that man? He created his children into this world, and now he is trying to sue them unreasonably. Its not like he have done something gd for them can. Which dad will sue his own child? Maybe only him. 我恨不得把他杀掉。What he gain for doing all this? He even has the strength to throw stuffs at my door creating a crack, why is it that he still claims that he has cancer? Cursing himself? My family has enough trouble lers. Distrupting our lives for 3 years is not enough for you? Suing my mum is not enough? Now come and sue ur own son? What you actually gain? What you wan? I'll give you anything, everything, to exchange my family peace. Ur afraid we are aiming for ur money? Den burn it wif you when you die luh! Den no one gets anything! You wan granny to go back so you can torture her once again? You think we're so dumb to let her go back to you? Saying and claiming that you actually did not beat her, she is kind enough not to report police and sue you to court with all her injuries! Please luh, you how old already? going 70 and still not using ur brains. I kinda pity you can. Ppl at this age is retire and live happily. You got a gd and caring wife who looks at the relationship and did not divorce you. You got children who are caring and even send you money every month even when you ill-treated them in the past when they are young. They even brought your grand-children to see you every now and then so that you wun feel so lonely. And what did you do? Sue them back. Scold their wife, scold their wife's mother. You got NO RIGHTS to scold them. To think that my mum always ask dad to go and visit you often, putting good words for you. Telling dad, "no matter wad he does to you in the past, its the past already. No matter wad, he is still ur father." AND YOU ACTUALLY SCOLDED HER A BITCH. You took everything for granted. You got everything that all grandparents have. You are rich. You got simply everything. But you chose to chase everyone of us away. We called police, you run away. I dare you to come burn my house down. I'll stay here and video wad you have done. I'll pay you back double of wad you treat my mum.