Stressed.

Make it past.

Went imm for PFA lesson today. Walked like 2 hours non stop, felt my legs breaking. Had total headaches as if my head having cramps. School is indeed stressing. Jia yous Chen Xiaoxin.

I dn understand. I really dn. I wasnt happy living in my own world. Dn assume im happy. No im nt, you dnn hw im outcasted in school. You din noe i have to spend breaks ALONE. You told me you will eat lunch with me whenever i need you. Whr are you whn i needed you.. I jus wana noe hw ur doing. I JUS WANA SHOW I STILL CARE. Bt wad i got? I GOT NTH. I caused mre misunderstandings. ITS ME ALRIGHT?! ME ME ME. Stop assuming. JUS STOP IT. You din noe hw much im suffering inside. YOU DNN HW MUCH PAIN YOU HAVE LEFT ME. All you noe, is my happiness without you. I think, your the one being happy WITHOUT me. Im nt angry, im nt fedup. Whn you told me you dnn wad happened, bt i was clear. You changed. You STOPPED understanding, you STOPPED giving in, you STOPPED communicating. You will never noe, NEVER EVER NOE.

Legs tired of all the walking ard school campus. Rained the whole day and i wore the wrong slippers. It jus made me rmb the days whr i and sebas changed slippers cos mine is too slippery =\ Woke up with bad dream, scared out of my wits. Many bad bad feelings came to me, tried to go home early after school today (: im a gd girl~ Headaches have been continuous, maybe its due to the weather. Humid and hot, plus rain and humid today. Totally sickening.

Maths lecture was boring and oh man, i totally dn understand what the heck he is trying to teach. I cant fail it again, i got no more chances left. This is stressing.

Time flies, its going 2mths ever since i have ever talked to you. Im wondering hw have you been, are problems arising for you, and whether you still rmbed me. I msged you and was totally worn out after that. I dnn wad were you thinking, you totally gt me wrong. Never did once i was angry with you. Never did once i nv took you as my fren. I really wan to noe wad have gotten over you, wad makes you so angry. All the years we have spend together, all i could do is keep as memories.
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As you said, nothing could be changed, den jus let it be. I shall nt step in otherwise thr will be mre misunderstandings, and it'll be me who will be held responsible again.

It has been a week after school started. Everyday is a new day, unexcepted, different, shocking. It feels different to be the oldest in class, the odd one out, "newbie" of the class. Total of 5 modules, im alr in 5 different classes. Plus tutorial classes are different, its another addition to the different classes i have to go. Every class is a new face. Some are those who treats you like part of them, while some totally treats you like air. Wells, i have learnt alot, starting of school is tiring, harder to adapt, hwever, there are ppl who never forgets. Thank you huishan, yeesan, ziyan, brenda and sihui (: My breaks are less lonely as compared to the last last sem.

Ytd was total tiring. Lecture was hard. Mood swing like 360 degrees. Met sebas to acc him for trainning after i went home frm skoo. I think he is as sweet as the hershey's pie from burger king =\ Now i noe why you like to have so many pockets in ur berms. They're to keep chocolates for me! Hahs, whn i thought those were the last chocolates, you simply pulled out another. Totally changed my views of that day (: Thank you!

P.S Life wasnt so bad afterall.
P.P.S Take care.

First day of skoo, was unexpected. Met baby at pioneer and head to skoo early in the morning. I really appreciate that you woke up eariler den usual jus to acc me take train (: Thanks~! After which i reached skoo and i rmbed, I TAPPED my student pass. Went to class and realised my card is gone. 43 bucks of concession jus bought + $15++ worth of cash inside. Whoa, im jus so unlucky. Paniced and went everywhr jus to find it. Wells, accepted the fact my card is gone, went to class and HOLY~ Lecturer opened his mouth and told me that im nt supposed to wear slippers to class. He asked me to wear his stinky safety boot! Holy shyt. I was carrying this stinky pair of boot to my seat jus when this guy stepped in in slippers. And almost immediately, he shouted at him and asked me to pass the guy the boot. Lucky me, i dn have to wear that boot =\ I wun wear it anw. Pls, its dirty, ugly, stinky, unglam + horrible. Still mourning over my lost student pass, i realised class only contain 1 girl, ME. Wells, class is noisy + cencored. They were like super high. Wells, i wun see them often, at most 6 lessons for the whole sem.

Had maths, its the 3rd time im taking it. And its the 3rd time im hearing the same old thing, and its the 3rd time im seeing the same bk. Was released 1 hour earlier and so i walked all the way to find sihui at convention centre. Hell far can. Ate free icecream and was mistaken as a freshie -.- Went back to meet huishan and yeesan, headed to makan place for lunch. Im like walking in circles inside np, carrying a super duper heavy laptop + a bag filled with bks. I felt my hips breaking can.

Continued class and dad msged me ( i dnn whn he become so high tech one, normally he use 5 mins to type like 2-words?!) He told me a lecturer found my student pass and asked me to contact him. WHA! I told mum to like terminate the service alr! Fancy losing things on the first day, terminate and TADA the card is found. Nida pay like $18 for renewal of a card and whoa, mum told me nvm, so unlucky day, she wana go buy 4-D, "4210" (my hp number) Bt wells, whn she called back and asked if she could void the termination nt, the person said ok! COOL~ i lost my student card, terminated the service, someone found it and its actually send all the way to me to my classrm, voided the service, and i can use it agn! Unbelievable. Am i unlucky or am i vry lucky?!

P.s skoo is nt bad actually. It jus felt different nw.

To the one and only one

You're the thought that starts every morning,
the conclusion to each and every day.
You're in all that i do,
everything i say.

You're the smile on my face,
the twinkle of my eye.
The warmth in my heart,
the happiness of my life.

You're my silly, mature, caring,
thoughful, cute and honest guy.
The one who i holds me tightly,
when i need to cry.

You're all i wanted.
You're all i need.
You're all I've dreamt of.
You're my everything.

---

To, My best fren

I look at you and my anger rages like an ocean,

A vast sea of wasted feelings, and precious time.

Hurt by the tings you say and do to me and the things you dont think i hear,

Or you dont think i'll find out.

They always find their way back to me.

And the gaps and oceans between us grow wider and vaster and deeper.

As words get in between us until neither of us know wad to say,

And nth is left to do bt turn ard, and look the other way.

Telling lies to let other one noe who's nt hurt the most,

When really all it does is ear me up inside.

My empty heart is scareming,

fighting against the currents.

Of love and hate, pulling away frm each other.

Like the moon and ocean, as we grow further apart.

I want to talk,

to try and work things out.

To repair the rift that keeps growing btw us.

Bt words get in the way, we gt angrier and mre frustrated.

Bt hw do i explain,

hw i feel and hw much i want.

To have so much memories,

hanging out together every recess time,

share our clothes and eat choclates whn we're sad.

Spend nights tonning over jus to talk abt everything under the stars.

Do all those things that used to be so impt,

bt are nw forbidden.

Cos one of us might get our guard down,

and say things that will make another angry.

Bt somehw as i sit here and type this,

nt cos i wanted to, bt cos i have to for you and for myself.

The rift seems to heal itself and the ocean doesnt seem quite so bottomless.

And im smiling again.

Cos i know ur going to read this,

and understand it and me, and the way i feel.

Cos you always have, and i know you always will.

Its a bond that reaches over oceans and repairs torn hearts.

Somthing that only a best fren can understand.

Stop wondering, its only you.

Spend my day at sebas's hse. Meaningful, funny, omt. Tell you, he is super cute! (:

Hope you had great fun forgetting me.

Its 3.11am in the morning and im still unable to fall aslp. Stupid brains jus dn wana shut down.
Im so jealous cos Sebas got to stayover at Andy's & currently watching the sprinting zombie show.
Sihui is long gone aslp.
Jie is oso snoring away with dreams filled with me.
Man, i wana slp too.

P.S ; Stop me frm thinking of you.

Everyday this few weeks is jus still so carefree, so unstressed, so meaningful. Though things that have been done is little, bt everyday jus seemed mre meaningful den few mths ago. Bygones should be bygones, those who try to rake up your past and hurt you arent those ppl who noe you. They are supposed to be forgotten. Basically, life this few weeks are simply filled with people like Siao kia; Sihui , Lazy-zhu; Sebas , Cuties; Huishan , Adorable; family members.

Went pool with sebas, went walk ard jurong point with sihui, went strolling at town jus to eat ajisen with sebas, cravings for you tiao and managed to eat it cos of sebas, Cravings for pillow fights and eventually threw pillow at sebas, went trainning with sebas and laughed my head off cos he was slammed so hard =\

Went to see sinseh and saw this cute little doggie who looks at me with watery eyes while i ate my food. I turned to him and said "no food for you (bleah)" ; And it barked at me =\
Im so nt going for acupucture. I noe it does me gd, bt a fobia is a fobia. Unless i can overcome it, im nt going for it.

Acc-ed sebas to trainning and saw the little boy grading. His hell cute can. Everyone was like laughing at his actions during the grade and sebas told me to snap a pic of him (: And oh, it was sebas's leg, i wana prove hw hairy it is =\

Wells, some over dued pics that time whn i and beh went je. We did not eat Bali Thai alrights!

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell

I've gt to learn what things are meant to be, what things are meant not to be.

Had been fun and unstressed with huishan's, family's and of cos sebas's presence. Wells, all i can say is I FINALLY FELT LIKE I HAVE SPEND LIFE TO THE FULLEST!! Bugis-ed with laopo beh ytd and whoa! I spend money like water, its shiok can~ Arena-ed with baby and cool! Baby is a cuties joker~ Andy is super funny =x Today went je lib with baby and met up with laopo beh, daryl and yeesan. Laopo beh gt like 3rd postition lea! Nt bad nt bad =\ Whn are you treating me?!?! "muhahahas" Went strolling ard imm and ate pepper lunch. Cool~ Baby and laopo beh is like so so lame~ "1 black cat and 1 white cat is strolling along whn the white cat fell into a long kang, wad did the white cat say to the black cat?!?! (Ans: Meow) -.- Super duper lame!

Beh played the "dumbdumb game" with baby and omt, baby is 80% dumb!! =\

Went bakerzin and bought cakes and headed home. Went back to jp 1 hour ltr after i reached home. Met parents for dine. Pepper lunched again, treated them dine and dessert, man, this burning a hole in my pocket. Wells, they enjoyed today and i enjoyed being with them too (:

Bball-ed in arcade with bro and omt, he is quite gd~ He insisted in playing the tall tall bball and he dragged dad to play with him. Mum says dad plays bball well in his younger days~! whoa!! Cool evening with family. Baby, tmr is our time for bonding lols!! (: